Day 3 – Chris succumbs to global outsourcing

I’m to busy attending Scientology meetings to actually post today, so I’ve asked my good friend Josh Mertz to step in –

Howdy, everybody.  This is guest blogger (and Chris’s college roommate) Josh Mertz writing from New York City . 

We interrupt Chris’s foody meanderings to bring a short column on Katzinger’s Deli in Columbus, which Chris visited recently and asked me to write a review for.  Why me, you ask?  Well, because Chris knows that Katzinger’s is just about my favorite sandwich shop on the whole freakin’ planet.  I go out of my way to make a special trip there whenever I’m in (or heck, within 50 miles of) Cowtown, and I fondly remember being a poor post-college actor in a temp job nearby, saving my pennies for lunch there once a week. 

A combination deli and specialty foods store, the place is an indecisive sandwich lover’s nightmare—over 60 sandwiches in 7 categories jumble up the mammoth menu board, daring you to narrow your choice down to just one.  And it ain’t cheap—a regular sandwich probably averages $10—but you get A LOT for your money—bread piled with meat and toppings.  It’s been a year or so since my last visit, but a glance at the internet menu reminds me of some favorites:  #1—the Katzinger’s Reuben—you’ll probably only find a finer Reuben at Katz’s famous deli here in NYC.  Or #3—Ari’s Open Door—Pastrami, Salami AND Cream Cheese on Pumpernickel.  Venture further down the menu and you’ll find some odd and inviting combinations of meat, cheese and bread, such as #7 Lonny & Sonny’s Concoction -Turkey Breast, Proscuitto, Scallion Cream Cheese, AND Dijon Mustard on Rye ! 

The variety and innovation of this “NY style” deli REALLY set me up for disappointment when I moved to the Big Apple and found that every corner WASN’T cheerfully occupied by a friendly sandwich shop with over 60 sandwich selections!  Another advantage over its big city brethren:  Katzinger’s is under no obligation to observe kosher laws, so you can get that pastrami with swiss that you can’t get at many NY delis.

While you’re waiting for your sandwich to be made, you can engage in the fine Katzinger’s tradition of Spoiling Your Appetite By Gorging On The Free Pickles.  Two big barrels sit in the dining room, filled with two types of dill pickles:  Garlic and Regular.  And they’re good.  So good.  Like I said:  spoil-your-appetite good. 

 

If you’re not a pickle fan (or somehow manage to summon up the self-control to eat only a few), you can browse the specialty food selection that, though small, contains a variety of fine gourmet-market foods, including a great selection of wines, EVOO (extra virgin olive oil, for you non-Rachael Ray fans), and breads, that, for its size, is probably one of the best in Ohio.

Another highlight of Katzinger’s is the ginormous meat and cheese counter, with a dizzying array of product.  Especially the cheeses—you can have a friendly employee give you a sample of any item in the case.

If the food doesn’t do it for you, how about socially conscious business practices?  Since 1996, the owners have practiced a gain-sharing plan whereby the owners split profits with the workers—the difference of all food costs below 35% of sales are shared—a practice that has led to Katzinger’s boasting one of the lowest attrition rates in the restaurant industry.

So take my word for it—if you’re in Columbus , make a special trip to German Village to sample the many delights of Katzinger’s.  Just don’t expect me to offer any recommendations for sandwiches—I still can’t decide!

When he’s not single-handedly bankrupting once proud Wall Street investment banks, Josh appears regularly at the Green Room in Greenwich Village with his sketch comedy group Slightly Known People

http://www.slightlyknownpeople.com/

http://www.myspace.com/slightlyknownpeople

He can be seen this summer at the world renowned Williamstown Theater Festival in Williamstown, MA.

http://www.wtfestival.org/

Josh appears courtesy Silk Voda.

… you just know when its silk.

Day 2 – Stranger in a Strange Land

State College, PA is a small quiet college town.  For an outsider (in more ways than one) on a Sunday afternoon, there’s not really much to do. 

 

Locals, it seems, tend to spend their free time sitting around and apologize for the recent history of Penn State football, making excuses for Joe Paterno, developing conspiracy theories about why Terrelle Pryor won’t come to Penn State, and rationalizing why Penn State would have been better off if it hadn’t joined the Big 10 (they could have preserved those great rivalries with has-beens like Syracuse, Pitt and Temple).  While wacky conspiracy theories are endlessly entertaining.  I was here for a higher purpose …  

 

… you see, always open Ye Olde College Diner is one of the pantheons of college football pre- and post-game food destinations.  An unassuming place – I drove right by it even though the Centre county convention and visitors bureau had given me directions – Ye Olde College Diner remains one of those places that every football fan needs to go to at least once in their life.  Because although the food is merely standard average middling diner fare, the place has one unique food item on the menu – freshly made Cinnamon sticky buns grilled on an open flat top grill and served hot with ice cold Vanilla ice cream.   

 

The service at Ye Olde College Diner is marginal — I had to remind my waitress 3 times that I ordered well-done bacon and she passed me no less than 10 times before asking if I wanted some coffee while I waited for my order.  I reminded her — keep in mind she was the only waitress in the restaurant — that I hadn’t placed my food order.   

  

So as I mentioned, the food ultimately is average — when my “well done” bacon finally arrived it was as fatty and appetizing as the corpse of the late Dom DeLouise.    

 

But, I have to admit, the idea and the execution of ordering grilled sticky buns a la mode for breakfast, is pure genius.    

 

I could totally see myself stopping on the way back to the dorms after a night of drinking to order some sticky buns to help absorb the alcohol.  I could also see myself gaining 50 pounds and developing type-2 diabetes if I went to school there.  But, i’ve heard that Penn State has a really good Med School based in Hershey, PA — which has receveived tens of millions of dollars from the Hershey foundation — so I’m sure if there’s a Med School that specializes in sugar-induced dietary ailments, the good people of State College would receive nothing but the best care.  But, luckily for my heart surgeon, my dietician, my weight trainer, my strength and conditioning coach, my speed coach, my parole officer and my personal assistant, I was onto other culinary destinations.

Day 1 – All things Noodles ….

My friend Xue, who lives in Northern New Jersey, but originally comes from Beijing makes at least 4 outstanding vegetarian Chinese dishes (that I know of) — 1) Spicy, Cold Sesame noodles, which she serves with Bean Sprouts and Cucumber, 2) Vegetarian Fried Rice, 3) Fried Udon Noodles and Vegetables, 4) Garlic Chive Pot Stickers.

So when she called me up and offered to make me some noodles before I left town, I jumped at the chance. I highly recommend that every American befriend an excellent Chinese cook — if only to learn first-hand what an awful tired non-traditional horrible slop of food is served at so-called take-out “Chinese” restaurants in the US.

 

In fact, I’m convinced the most important thing we could do for Sino-American relations (and ultimately world peace) would be if we stopped exporting KFC, McDonalds and Pizza Hut to China, and they stopped exporting bad Chinese take-out places and bad Sammo Hung movies to the US.